Decoding my politics.

If you want to know what my politics really are without me saying words that scare you, here's a handy guide.

If it makes a member of the elite sad, I'm for it. A member of the elite could be a prominent businessman. Or a church leader. Or a powerful politician. A military contractor. Or a general. Entertainment celebrity. Professional sportsman. Investment banker. Doesn't matter--if it makes a member of this class of people upset, it's probably a great idea.

If it makes someone who is not part of the elite feel a little better, and the elite bear most of the cost, then I'm for it. These are things like universal health insurance, workers' rights, gay marriage, legalizing marijuana, approving stem-cell research, and junk like that.

Anything that undermines the ability of the "global economy" to stick it to the rest of us (that is, the non-elites) is awesome. Developments to make offshoring jobs untenable are great. Making it too expensive to set up sweatshops in the third world is great. Carbon taxes are awesome. And so forth.

And, of course, for completeness: anything that runs counter to the above sucks.

So, really, if you wonder where I'm coming from on these issues, this guide should help.

And, by the way, this is why I never vote for a Republican. This doesn't make me a Democrat--Democrats also run counter to these ideals more often than not. But Republicans run counter to them nearly 100% of the time (or even when they accidentally support one plank they obnoxiously undermine the other two). This is why I focus on them at this time. It's just a matter of damage control, really.

These are "palliative" ideas--that is, these guidelines are meant to contain the damage caused by our toxic culture. The "transformative" ideas I have are far too scary, so let's stick to these for now.