Tuesday, September 8, 2009

WTFF: i. Chomp!

First in the series: "What the Fucking Fuck?!"

LA Times: Health reform supporter bites off fingertip of passerby at rally

The facts of this incident are not entirely clear. Drawing from the other things I have read about this incident and heard on talk radio, I'll attempt to paint you the following picture.

MoveOn.org throws some pro-HCR event in the sleepy suburb of Thousand Oaks, CA. People show up, probably holding signs, some crap like this. Events like this often draw heat and counter-protestors, and one of them was a guy named Bill Rice. Oh, this video from Neil Cavuto might help:

Rice, probably a moran, didn't take kindly to MoveOn's little shindig. Yes, MoveOn can be a bit obnoxious, but in typical right-wing kneejerk fashion, Rice heckles a dude in a black shirt (who might well be a moran himself, but we'll just call him Mr. Black.)

My understanding is that the following happened after that:

1. Mr. Rice heckles Mr. Black in some especially moranic manner.

2. Mr. Black says, "hey, you're a fucking idiot," and charges Mr. Rice.

3. Mr. Rice, feeling a little threatened, starts swinging his fists at Mr. Black. He connects, and in his own words, "his fist goes in [Mr. Black's] mouth."

4. Mr. Black freaks out and bites off the end of Mr. Rice's finger.

5. Mr. Rice collapses in pain. Mr. Black flees.

Cavuto, being a moran himself, is simultaneously hilarious and bewildering in his mock-seriousness. "You gave an appendage in the cause of protesting health care reform."

This is where we leave the realm of WTF and enter the realm of WTFF.

The best irony of all is that Mr. Rice, being well advanced in age, is probably covered by Medicare and had his injuries treated by the taxpayers.

Hero? Hardly. FUCKING HYPOCRITE TOOL is what you are, Mr. Rice. I rather wish he'd bitten your entire hand off and taken a piss on the stump, you stupid son of a bitch.

And Cavuto? What is your damage? This deranged maniac starts swinging his fists and gets his just desserts, and you're calling him a hero?


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