Monday, September 7, 2009

WTFF: Prologue: Moranity (rhymes with "Sean Hannity")

An introduction to the "What the Fucking Fuck?!" series.

My family and I have recently decided to use the neologism "moran" in the same many people my age and younger use the word "retard". This applies to other parts of speech: "retarded" becomes "moranic", and "the state of being a retard (retardation?)" becomes "moranity". The "a" in "moran" is short--so "moranity" rhymes with "Sean Hannity". Hm, let's take a look:

Yep, sounds about right.

Moranity is not just mere stupidity--it is stupidity disguised as introspective intellect. It is ego-driven stupidity. It is mind-boggling stupidity. It is stupidity most easily recognized by its cruelty and just obnoxious, purposeful lack of sensitivity and insight--as if lacking the ability to think critically and compassionately were a virtue instead of a vice. And it's often hilariously self-referential, as the first photo illustrates quite well.

I'm definitely not the first person to think of this, either (sense 3). (Warning: Urban dictionary is not usually the most safe-for-work site.)

Those of us who like to at least attempt to think critically and compassionately get so frustrated with stupidity of this nature that we'd lash out ourselves, usually using the word "retard" instead. But this is not a good idea--making fun of someone with a genuine disability is just the sort of thing we're preaching against here. Not only that, genuinely "retarded" people are rarely outright cruel and obnoxious.

Moranity has always been with us, of course, but lately it seems on the rise. You'd think that chasing a moran out of the White House would improve matters greatly. But, in fact, the problem has gotten a lot worse. I guess when morans think they are in charge of things they can restrain their more obnoxious moranity--but when the non-morans get fed up and throw them out, the morans REALLY lose their shit, resulting in a widespread pattern of incidents leading many (including myself) to enter what I call the "Perpetual State of What-the-Fuck (WTF)?"

The Perpetual State of WTF has been an intermittent problem for me in the last ten or so years especially. I think it first occurred with the sex scandal during the Clinton Presidency. The President getting it on with a reasonably attractive young lady in the White House is an obnoxious scandal, to be sure, and covering it up was just the sort of thing that got Nixon into so much trouble. But the froth and noise and rumors surrounding such a thing was just so over the top I often found myself unable to think about it at all, preferring to just whisper to myself "what the FUCK?"

Over the years, this feeling has gotten more and more intense, to the point now that I cannot listen to even a 5-minute radio news broadcast without saying "what the FUCK?!" out loud, and quite loudly. Only recently have I caught myself doing this, though--when I think back to it, however, I remember doing it for years. I think it's an automatic defense mechanism to avoid thinking about things that disturb us too deeply, because such thought usually leads to crushing despair.

But now, things have gotten so out of hand that WTF has now progressed to "What the FUCKING fuck?!", or WTFF. In other words, the level of WTF has now grown so outrageous that rather than simply say WTF and shrug it off, I am tempted to lash out in a serious rage, perhaps dropping what I am doing and destroying something very expensive with my bare hands.

It's just that frustrating to me. Most often, too, the WTFF reaction is inextricably linked to moranity. Often, Sean Hannity, as well. Sometimes, though, I get lost in the fail that is our culture and engage in WTFF behavior myself. This is, of course, supremely frustrating.

But there's got to be a better way to deal with it than, say, wrecking my car or smashing a $500 iPod, because that reaction itself smacks of moranity. Hence, this series, which starts in earnest Tuesday or perhaps today.

Look again at the first photo. Soon, if not now, you'll be pining for the days when the most obvious and obnoxious morans were merely defending the indefensible. Such things were easily dismissed by a WTF and a chuckle at the expense of fuckstains holding signs like this. But now the problem is so pervasive that rage is an entirely reasonable response.

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